The term first appeared in English language print in Ben Jonson's 1610 play, The Alchemist.

[jacktellslies]

Footnotes to poetry have reminded me of something I knew already: in dimly remembered human history, dildos were made of leather. This was, of course, disgusting. Before that, they could have been made of nearly anything, including, I've read, wood, stone, and ivory.

It must be admitted: I'm not always so stoic as I seem. Despite my being fully aware that, had I been born a boy, I would weep in the night: "Why, oh why, could I not have been born a girl?" I still, ever so rarely, bemoan my biological lot.

You may or may not know that I hold a certain fondness for missing limbs. The amputee is beautiful, and their prosthetics wonders. Quite often, I fear, I enjoy the suggestion of a thing more than I could ever like the thing itself.

Somehow I'd never quite managed to fit the two facts together.

Being an amputee of a certain sort, what I require are truly magnificent and ancient prosthetics: ivory harvested five hundred years ago and traced with Arabian geometries, wands tipped with jewels, human thigh bones carved with runes, attached with pure silk or ermine or a leather harness crafted by an old Venetian gentleman who, normally, only makes tasteful women's handbags.

I know where to find my other somewhat exotic antiques, but how, exactly, does one go about collecting antique, mayhaps prehistoric, faux phalli?

Comments

Re: I Care About Your Genetalia And The Genetalia Of Your Friends

[popejeremy.livejournal.com]

Also, condoms are designed to elastically grip onto skin. So, unless a dildo is made of a skin-like substance (silicone, etc.) you're usually told not to try to use a condom on it, since it will probably just slip off during use.

And I'm not trying to imply that all your friends have STDs. I'm mostly concerned about the kinds of everyday bacteria that your skin is excellent at repelling, but which isn't meant to be rammed into vaginas and asses.

Re: I Care About Your Genetalia And The Genetalia Of Your Friends

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

No, they do. All of them. Everyone I've ever met. It's a terrible shame.