The term first appeared in English language print in Ben Jonson's 1610 play, The Alchemist.

[jacktellslies]

Footnotes to poetry have reminded me of something I knew already: in dimly remembered human history, dildos were made of leather. This was, of course, disgusting. Before that, they could have been made of nearly anything, including, I've read, wood, stone, and ivory.

It must be admitted: I'm not always so stoic as I seem. Despite my being fully aware that, had I been born a boy, I would weep in the night: "Why, oh why, could I not have been born a girl?" I still, ever so rarely, bemoan my biological lot.

You may or may not know that I hold a certain fondness for missing limbs. The amputee is beautiful, and their prosthetics wonders. Quite often, I fear, I enjoy the suggestion of a thing more than I could ever like the thing itself.

Somehow I'd never quite managed to fit the two facts together.

Being an amputee of a certain sort, what I require are truly magnificent and ancient prosthetics: ivory harvested five hundred years ago and traced with Arabian geometries, wands tipped with jewels, human thigh bones carved with runes, attached with pure silk or ermine or a leather harness crafted by an old Venetian gentleman who, normally, only makes tasteful women's handbags.

I know where to find my other somewhat exotic antiques, but how, exactly, does one go about collecting antique, mayhaps prehistoric, faux phalli?

Comments

[transversecity.livejournal.com]

I suggest you hold a Grand Competition, and the One who brings you the Greatest Pseudo-Penile-Piece wins your hand in marriage! Or possibly a slushie.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I think beyond a certain age they are historical artifacts and can be found with any other kind of historical artifacts.

I had never thought of the amputee angle before...

Ooh, there are people who make swords and things to historical specifications. I wonder whether...

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

a friend of mine who knows about things recommended you ask the question of the good people at Good Vibrations, who have an antique sex toy museum, or of another sexuality museum.

I Care About Your Genetalia And The Genetalia Of Your Friends

[popejeremy.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that you've already thought of this, but if you haven't, I'm going to bring it up because I am a worry wort.

Ivory is a porous material, and therefore a harbinger of bacteria and infection. I would use an ivory phallus for visual aesthetic purposes only. Never for actual copulation.

[jezebellydancer.livejournal.com]

I know this was posted long ago, but I just have to jump on this one. Well, not jump--that could hurt.

There is a place near Adamstown, PA called Fred & Dottie's, they specialize in reproductions, but they also have a sampling of real antiques.

Some time ago, they had a contraption in the lower level of their establishment that on first look seems like some strange reclining chair from a dentist's or doctor's office in a Jules Verne novel.

Apparently it is from the turn of the century and was used on "hysterical" women. The woman reclined in the seat, put feet in stirrups and a mechanical dildo would solve all her problems.

Whether they still have it, I don't know. I haven't been there in a long time. You do need to have a tax number to get in, they serve the antique dealer community. Perhaps a field trip is in order.