No, he cannot touch the fish.

[jacktellslies]

Dear Ms. _______,

I write to thank you for the aid you offered in what was, for me, a difficult choice, one on which I'd been meditating for some time. Your children (all four of them!) were utterly atrocious. I recognise that their being dull and demanding is barely their fault at all, and that, at their age, the blame rests almost entirely with you. It is my sincerest hope that the poor creatures save themselves one day; the state of society being what it is, I trust you'll forgive me if I maintain my doubts. I should, perhaps, note that your children were not much more awful than most of the ones that I encounter on a daily basis, but this only serves to make my course all the more clear. In choosing to to actively pass on your own prodigious faults in addition to your wanting genetic code you've shown such poor judgement and limited self-awareness that I'm afraid I cannot let another business day pass without taking action against the threat of such wasted seed ever being inflicted upon the world again. Come Monday, I'm making an appointment to acquire a more permanent form of birth control. (Would that the bliss of infertility could be more easily shared! Mayhaps I should employ lasers, or radio waves?) Thank you once again for your assistance in this matter. The experience was most edifying.

Yours,
Jack Grey

Comments

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

My sister has it covered. She's far better with kids than I am, and abundantly fertile. I'll stick to being the fairy godparent with the funny hair.

[brni.livejournal.com]

heh. i suppose we can always clone you...

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

...I'd hit that...