Syphilis!

[jacktellslies]

Today was unpleasant. Therefore I thought it an excellent day on which to discus cursing. I'm as fond as anyone of the usual references to fornication and excrement, but apparently utilize them a good deal less frequently than I think I do. My Dutch flatmate once asked me, "Do you ever actually curse, or do you just say, curses?" Indeed.

As it happens, cursing in Dutch apparently focuses on disease. It mostly uses the slightly old fashioned names for ailments like consumption and various venereal diseases. More recently a few people have taken to exclaiming, cancer! when they are displeased. Although it was considered quite shocking at first, it seems to be catching.

I do like saying curses, though. It's pleasantly antiquated and ineffective. I use it when I feel slightly and momentarily thwarted. It's the one I'm most likely to use in the company of others. When I'm alone, I curse a bit differently. The word slut tends to fall out of my mouth when I reproach myself. This has always struck me as slightly odd, as my disappointment with myself almost never has anything to do with my choices about sex. Despite that, I call myself by that word with some frequency. Perhaps the quieter parts of my brain feel something I don't. I also like slug. It's the tamest in my personal arsenal, although as I spend more time gardening I suspect it may develop gravity. The severest of my swears is also the most embarrassing. I'm afraid that when truly annoyed or inconvenienced, I'm given to exclaiming, balls! I'm not proud of it. Sorry, gentlemen. I promise that the rational parts of my brain neither disrespect you nor your anatomy.

How do you curse, when you do?

Comments

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I am very boring. I may say fuck or bugger.

Do you ever replace "Curses!" with "Imprecations!"? You should.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Rather than boring, you may want to think of yourself as less likely to talk to yourself than I am. Hah.

Ha! I tried to replace slut with slattern. It didn't quite work. These things aren't choices as much as they are verbal accidents.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

"bugger" is not an inaccurate description of myself.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

While I like the word a great deal, I'm afraid I've never been able to convince myself that it could be a bad thing.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

It's certainly not a bad thing. I would like not to say "fuck" or "bugger" because they're names of nice things, the same reason I don't say "cunt" except to mean an actual cunt.

[chronographia.livejournal.com]

Whereas my default is the two-for-one deal of 'buggeryfuck'. Which is why I am not allowed around small children.

Though I am very fond of 'oh shitbears' ever since I came across it in the source code of hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com. There is a certain despair and helplessness about it.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Everything is better with bears.

[chronographia.livejournal.com]

Assfish, strictly speaking, is more of a nonsequiteur than a proper curse/swear/invective but it has more or less the same effect. Put enough oomph behind it and people will look shocked and possibly cover innocent children's ears.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Dear me! Well done!

[titlecharacter.livejournal.com]

I do the usual standard set, lots of fuck and goddammit. I do compound profanity more than most, I think - "George Bush is a shitfucking godcrapping asshole." I said "cocksucker" the other day in an insult context and was very disappointed with myself.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I fear anyone who can excrete divinity.

[thereallinda.livejournal.com]

so, h'okay...i curse...a lot.
my most frequent word is shit. next is fuck. ogod, jesusfuckinchrist, goddamn, etc. all very usual and (sigh) pedestrian i'm sure.
but...
i have a story for you.
my sister used to hang with a bunch of bikers known as the "bandidos" when we lived in albuquerque back in the late 60's early 70's. one of her friends was a very large, epitome of biker, named Jimmy Joe. no lie.

so Jimmy Joe had a sort of curse-litany that he used quite frequently that went like this, "goddamn, motherfuckin', goat-ropin' son of a bitch."

but when he was really angry...the kind of angry that made people who didn't know him cower and those who did, run, was a quiet and steadied, "well."

curses, indeed.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Very, very nice.

[popejeremy.livejournal.com]

In writing, I love saying things like motherfucker, cocksucker, and goddamned, but I rarely ever say such words. When I'm speaking, when I curse, I make sure my curses are offensive, shocking, and unexpected. In pleasant conversation, a quip of "damned motherfucker" simply will not do. Something more creative is required such as, "My, that was kind of like fucking a corpse, if the corpse were Swedish."

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Bravo!

[randiriel.livejournal.com]

When they just slip out in conversation without thinking, I most often use fuck, and some variation of douche(bag).

When thinking in my head, I tend to curse in Spanish, but the fear of sounding silly has cut off the connection between my brain and my mouth.

When I have a moment of forethought, I enjoy the times when I can use a long litany of the names of various religious ideas/icons. For example, "Holy Jesus, Joseph and Mary!" or "Holy Mary, mother of God and all the

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I know how to curse in Spanish.

[lilacfaeryboy.livejournal.com]

I am a bit weird with cursing. I tend to use curse words frequently and loudly, for relatively minor things. For more major things, the word I choose to use is...well...'bunnies', actually. Don't ask. It has something to do with Final Year English and thus the exam stress that came with it. Although that was (scarily) 3.5 years ago, it has stuck with me!

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Bunnies is no stranger than slugs. Is it a Buffy reference?

[lilacfaeryboy.livejournal.com]

I may have been once upon a time...but it morphed...

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Bunnies are difficult to contain.

[lilacfaeryboy.livejournal.com]

Oh, and my latest phrase is 'arsebuggery'...which is silly, because every time I use it, my brain says 'as opposed to what other kind of buggery, now?'....

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

*snorts* I like it.

[dimethirwen.livejournal.com]

I really like the word "fuck," honestly, but I'm also fond of the slightly less harsh "jerkface," "asshat," and, from a source that I dare not admit to, "Sweet swirlin' onion rings!"

Not the most sumptuous or suprising of buffets

[paisleycat.livejournal.com]

I have a sad relationship to cursing. I can curse casually and uncreatively, but do so rarely. But, if I can caught with unexpected physical pain (as most often happens in the most public or work-related of moments)my desire not to mess up has less to taking that with absolute silence. It has even spread to silent injuries in the home. I dislike that, since I enjoy sharing my opinions and experiences so much of the time.

When insulting others I have word fads. Right now my current habitual word is jokers. This implies that my insultee is not serious about what they are doing, unskilled, and therefore insignificant.

Re: Not the most sumptuous or suprising of buffets

[etzelism.livejournal.com]

I'm a silent injury person, too! Most of that came from a very overreactive household, where the slightest "ooomph" sent my father running up the stairs to make sure everything was okay. To this day, even while alone in my apartment, I've put thumbtacks through my heel with no more than a gasp. This can't be good in the long run.

Also, I'm totally going to start using the word jokers.

[fitofwhimsy.livejournal.com]

Fuck your face!

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

I thought you'd never ask.

[fitofwhimsy.livejournal.com]

Ah, but of course.

[nonsequitania.livejournal.com]

The boring and usual swears come out of my mouth when I'm surprised and/or in pain. I also tend to do Hugh Grant at the start of Four Weddings and a Funeral when late in the mornings, complete with skittering.
Friend of a friend would mutter 'arse!' when vexed. I liked the expressive hiss and it's now become a bit hard wired into my brain. Bit boring I'm afraid.
Litanies of either odd verbs ('goat-ropin'!! Love it) or saints' names are nice.

I was boasting about how tough I was in some way recently (long working hours or some such) and my beloved said scornfully 'You softcock.' Apparently it's a common way for Australian men to call each other's bluff, but I'd never heard it and I loved it. Nearly as gorgeously silly as 'purple-headed junket pumper' (not used for a swear.) Snerk.

[etzelism.livejournal.com]

I try not to swear, and think it sounds forced whenever I do. My usual expletive is "fudgesicles."

It's funny I should read this today, because I completely lost my temper last night (a very rare thing for this passive aggressive princess). Somewhere in my rant on the phone, I think I made up the word cuntcockfucker, which sent my fit of rage into a fit of giggles. I was pretty sure I hadn't used those words in years, let alone in that combination.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Ha! I like it. It sounds a good deal more effective than most mantras.

[jezebellydancer.livejournal.com]

Apparently I don't curse much, at least that's what my coworkers say. Then they tend to laugh at me when I do--apparently I am "cute" when I curse. They mean when I use the standard Anglo-Saxon terms. Cute is not what I am going for when I am angry enough to drop an F-Bomb.

Actually it wasn't until anti-aversion therapy applied liberally by my college roommate that I could even hear the F-word without physically chringing. It was many eyars later before I actually began using the word myself. After my mother added it to her repertoire, and every euphemism for it. Effing, fricking, fracking, freaking...

The c-word, I still have a problem with. Blame my delicate upbringing, I suppose. I've only heard it used in the most derogatory way, and that's a bad thing.

I've said "Bloody Hell" for years. And I've been known to bite my thumb at someone, even if they didn't have a clue that I was insulting them. Makes me feel better.

I had quite a run with Balzak, pronounced BALLS-ak.

"Knucklehead" is a new favorite. And I always use "jerk" and "asshole", especialy when driving.

And just the other day, I said Finn-Forsaken, after Finn McCool. Because he haunts me.