The Black Friday Rule.

[jacktellslies]

To whom it may concern:

I shall be dropping out of the gift-giving-and-receiving segment of the holidays again this year. I am fond of winter and the holidays that happen therein. However, I'm not exactly a Christian, and I'm certainly not much of a capitalist, so I'd rather not play that particular part of the game. I'll share gifts with my immediate family, and with a couple of close friends, but what I'd most like this year is to give a few exhausted sales people fifteen seconds during which to breathe. Thank you ever so much for your attention to this matter.

Yours always,
Jack

Comments

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

dear jack,

in the winters of the future when the grandchildren of the people of today congregate, they will celebrate Fishmas, to mark the birth of the hake and haddock and herring which enliven their dinner tables during the rest of the year; they will tickle trout and tell them stories; the president, should their government be comparable to our own, will pardon a mighty carp. i would celebrate fishmas this year, but i have no place to keep fish, and so i shall pass on it and give you fifteen seconds during which to breathe. during the holy season of fishmas (which is like unto a ladder as salmon climb) i shall think of you.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

You are amazing! Thank you.

[lelapin.livejournal.com]

you always surprise me with your new ways of being wonderful. does it ever end?

and can i send you a postcard?

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

I'm often terrible, I promise.

Yes, thank you!

[violet-wine.livejournal.com]

Well I'll wish you a happy Longnight or whatnot anyway. I'm probably going to give everyone poetry or something this year. Drawings. Something like that. I always tell people that I'm getting them gifts, and I get kind of upset that people just assume that means I'm spending something as shallow as money on them.

Would you like something artful from me, dear Jack?

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

Let's trade. Email me your address at p dot dreadful at gmail dot com and I'll send you mine back.

[violet-wine.livejournal.com]

Of course!

[randiriel.livejournal.com]

In the stead of a consumerist exchange, I shall send you a goblin, adept at leading dandies to fortune and adventure.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

I will send you three caskets. The one who can guess their contents is your One True Love (or at least One of your Truest, as you're far too lovely and interesting to stop at one). I, being the one who filled the caskets, have an unfair advantage. The magic holds true.