she broke your throat, she cut your hair.

[jacktellslies]

my lip is broken, red and swollen to a pout. i have work to do, but i have plans for escape: there are essays on kant and commonplace books, but dreams of piracy on the very smallest scale. (i am a fishmonger, and fishmongers need never want for work. i could run away to south america, somewhere beautiful and dangerous. i could buy a boat and learn to fish well, and take fat american tourists into the middle of the ocean where i'll fillet whatever they manage to catch for tips. i'll wash my bloody hands in the salt. i'll save entrails for bait. and i'll live close enough to the tourist town for there to be white people i can exploit, and a queer bar at which i can hunt, and close enough to the real world that i can learn a language and shop in real markets and live for next to nothing and only work when i wish and drink in the afternoons in the places where the people drink. my skin will get brown and my arms will get strong again and i will be covered in scales and not mind and my hands will smell like mermaids and i will not mind and i will wear naught but shorts and sports bras for months at a time. i do not usually catch myself wishing for somewhere warm. it snowed for the first time the night before last.) i've been getting thin. i drink chamomile in the morning and at night to help the nausea to shrink away, but i never want to eat. i weigh a bit less now than i did when my father was dying and small. i do not like the way that it looks on my face. but at least i've not needed to spend much on food. it's almost a bit of whiskey in the jar, at least.

Comments

[msphina.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

*feeds you*

*buys you a fishing boat and a ticket to south america*

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

*smiles* thank you, love. you are kind.

[msphina.livejournal.com]

most welcome, dear :) you are well worth the kindness.

[paperdollhearts.livejournal.com]

no withering away for you!

:stuffs you full of rich creamy cheeses, sweet pungent red wine and sugary flakey pastries:

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

you are perfect!

(i'm quite fond of the set from which your icon comes, as well.)

[paisleycat.livejournal.com]

*gives you bickering german tapeworms to make you hungry and keep you company*

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

what a lovely gift! happy christmas to you too!

[chevrelait.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. The next time I see you, I'm taking you out for a large [insert food that you're in the mood for here].

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

you are kind; thank you. don't worry about me much, though. i'm not entirely wasting away. i'm only just thin enough that a few people have noticed.

[lelapin.livejournal.com]

since i can't think of anything else to say: hello.

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

hello! how are you?

[lelapin.livejournal.com]

um, anxious! but otherwise passable. and you?

[earlofgrey.livejournal.com]

i feel like my brain is about to leak out of my eyes, and i think i just started hallucinating. finals! no food! no sleep! very cold! woo! but otherwise i'm fine. and finals are nearly over.