cheers, queers.

i'm not very good at being out, but i like the idea. what i mean is, i don't care who knows how i vote, where i'm pierced, who i fuck, or what i keep in the hat box next to my bed, but i'm not good at talking to strangers, or the introductory sexual category conversation expected when sniffing out one's new, seemingly less than hetero acquaintances. at work, everyone knows that i like girls, and i've had conversations about former boyfriends with a good many of them. but everyone seems to think that i'm a lesbian. this is mostly my fault for not correcting them and being prepared to define terms. but it seems like a daunting task. if they can't handle bisexuality, how do i explain why it doesn't apply? it seems like by now we shouldn't have to explain that sometimes girls are boys so that we can explain that alternate pronouns exist so that we can suggest that maybe we'd sort of be happier if people wouldn't mind using them when speaking about us. my family is relatively aware of the fact that i've never been very good at discriminating based on gender when it comes to partners. but we've never had a conversation about what i'd like for that to be called. when queer eye exploded into the world, my sister was surprised by the name. she'd never heard queer used as anything but an insult. it's what i call myself. why hadn't i told her? why didn't she know? is it just me? am i the only one who is really bad at this? or are we collectively failing to teach the world our language? and, beyond printing one and a quarter inch manifestos on buttons, how do i fix that?