the future.

last week i was in pittsburgh. we stayed at liz's house, which is very nice and slowly becoming more and more red and awesome. we went to improvs, where everyone broke up with everyone else. i'm glad that i was able to help start a trend. we went to the renaissance faire, where there was improv in the mud, nerds, kilts, and archery and knife throwing. knife throwing is not something i am very good at, but it is fun, especially when lou is there to kindle my rage by bludgeoning me with the patriarchy. we rode a griffin. we learned that liz, who was a blackbelt baby and is the best dueling partner in all of pittsburgh, is also a prodigy archer and axe-thrower. she is terrifying and hot, moreso than almost anyone else in the world. there was a party at which we tarred and feathered alex and ran him out of town, and at which everyone kissed everyone else, except for megan, who only kissed boys. by the by, she really likes it when you call her a boykisser multiple times a day, especially if you take the time to explain to friends and strangers why this is so. there was good conversation and there were neat new people. there were lots and lots of kitties. there was a nineteen-fifties black dress and jacket and hat that i'll be wearing to my cousin's wedding this weekend in denver. i'll see my family there. i'll tell them of my plans. i have so many plans.

a break: i don't have a very good back. it was far worse than usual last night, to the extent that megan really wanted me to go to hospital. i refused, but i called out from work today and went to an emergency doctor's appointment at the queer medical centre this morning. (i'd never been there before. i really, really like it. it was friendly and safe.) the doctor was kind and didn't hurt me as much as he might have. so this is probably only a muscle thing, not something terrible that i've done to my spine. i have been prescribed muscle relaxers, a thing i don't particularly like and don't really understand anyone coveting, and i will go for an mri, just to be sure, early monday morning when i return from colorado. i'll have to start doing exercises to stop this; i'm thinking about finding a gym with a pool. my friend lindsay, a massage therapist who is in the process of learning about lots of other kinds of therapy, might become something of a physical therapist for me. i'm terrified and angry about all of this. i don't like it when my body gets in my way. there is a chance that my insurance will not cover this. i've been ignoring the problem for years, and i wish i could continue to do so. i admire people who are straightforward and efficient when it comes to dealing with their bodies, but i am not one of them.

but there is good news. megan asked me tonight if i'd consider helping her to buy very cheap run down houses, fixing them, and selling them as start-up capital for her cafe, and possibly for a house of our own. and i think i would. i'd like to learn how to do those things. this might provide an excuse for us to live in pittsburgh for a bit. and, if we play it right, i can have this year to finish school, and i can be back in philadelphia to start teaching in four years, and even have a more permanent place in which to live and work when that happens. (talking about how fun and cool that could be was mixed in with talking about strict documents regarding who is paying for and would get what. megan and i like to meticulously plan the eventual dissolution of our relationship. i love it.)

and the big, important plan is this: my niece needs an education. this is not an easy thing to come by in philadelphia. in order to obtain such a thing, one must pay a considerable price. this offends just about every ideal i uphold. in thinking of alternatives, i thought about the fact that home schooled/unschooled kids are some of the most brilliant and neat people i've ever met, and that it is deeply unfortunate that the vast majority of parents cannot afford to home school their kids because people need to work for pay. i was wondering whether or not i could afford to live on whatever my sister could afford to pay me to home school ally, when i realized that if i could home school a bunch of babies, maybe eight or so, instead of just my niece, i could afford to charge families less, maybe even get grants, and help more families like my own. this way i wouldn't have to condone an evil public school system, or deal with rich families i don't really care about and who don't need me in the private schools. i could provide a creative, self-directed environment at which kids could learn what they wanted to learn and then teach each other. it will provide a bit of the socialization that most home schooling lacks. and i can be personally responsible for my niece's education. just now, i'm thinking that i'd like to teach a group of kids from first through eighth grade. agreeing, at first, to teach the first four years might be more reasonable, although i'm also thinking that i might fall in love with the work and the babies and want to ride it out through their high school years. but we'll see. if you are a parent or have ever been a student or a teacher and have opinions, or if you know anything about philadelphia law regarding such things, i'd really appreciate it if you'd leave me a note.

so. that might be the next decade plus two of my life. how strange, but wonderfully satisfying.

and please, forgive the bad writing. i just wanted it out, and style suffered as a result.